How to Encourage Parents to Fear Not When You Are Not a Parent Yourself—

Being a Children’s Ministry Director can be very rewarding. It can also be challenging. No surprises there, right? But add to that another layer, such as being single, not having children of your own, or being younger than most of the parents you serve and the challenge quotient goes up. Perhaps you may have felt “less than,” looked on with pity, or viewed as living an unfulfilled life because you fall into one of these categories.

Questions may plague you: Do I know what I’m doing? Am I qualified to even be here?

These doubts may tempt you to feel as though you are not viewed as a professional. You wonder, Am I heard? Am I taken seriously?

Big expectations are placed on the shoulders of Children’s Ministry Directors. And rightly so! It’s a big calling!

Therefore, we might expect parents to wonder, “How can you give me advice when you don’t even have children of your own?” or say, “Thanks for the suggestion, but I’ll ask someone who actually has their own children.” Finally, exasperated parents might shake their heads and state, “You just can’t understand.”

If you have ever heard statements like these, know that you are not alone. It can hurt. The old saying, “Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you,” is simply not true.

Words can and do hurt. It can sometimes be difficult for parents to “trust” someone who doesn’t have children of their own. It can be very discouraging, especially when you have education, training, as well as real-life experiences to provide advice, guidance, and encouragement to parents.

The Bible is full of stories of possible childless women—Miriam, Deborah, Esther, Mary and her sister Martha, Mary Magdalene, Joanna, and maybe many others. There are also many men who possibly didn’t have children—John the Baptizer, Paul, and Lazarus, Even Jesus Himself did not have biological children but always welcomed them! And look at Sarah and Abraham who didn’t become parents until they were well over child-bearing years! We don’t know God’s plan or His timing!

So, with this in mind, Children’s Ministry Directors, take heart! You are valued and called to be where you are! We are to walk alongside parents equipping them, providing a helping hand, an encouraging word, prayer, and support. Let us be loving and bold to encourage moms and dads to, “fear not” in this huge task of parenting!

We are all called to be imitators of Jesus and to follow His example. He welcomed children (Matthew 19:14) and often commanded His disciples and followers to be like children (Matthew 18:3; Mark 9:37; John 13:33; 1 John 2:28; 4:4).

We should never let the fact that we don’t have children (yet, or at all!) to undermine our decision-making or diminish our sense of expertise. After all, we were hired as professionals and—most importantly—God has equipped us! God can use whomever He wills. He is our Creator and He equips us for all that we do. We are all part of a covenant community!

Children’s Ministry Directors interact with parents who have different parenting styles, behavior expectations (or lack thereof), children with unique or special needs, and more. It’s helpful for us to remember parents have insecurities too—how well their child behaves or doesn’t can reflect positively or negatively on their parenting. Whew! That can be a lot of pressure! Just like us, they may fear being judged. We must be careful in our approach and try as much as possible to offer suggestions gently and compassionately so parents don’t feel judged or attacked, rather comforted and supported!

So, what does the Bible say about how we are to care for little ones? We learn that children are a gift, and that we are not to hinder them from coming to the kingdom of God. (Matthew 19:14; Luke 18:16) If you don’t have children yet or at all, it doesn’t matter. We are all called to live a life that is pleasing to the Lord and to be caring toward His little ones.

In Luke 2, we see the example of Anna. She was able to serve the Lord in a big and mighty way because all of her attention and focus was on the Lord. If she had had a family, that might not have been the case. This does not mean that you shouldn’t have children, but don’t allow anyone to make you feel “less than” because you don’t. God uses and equips whom He will.

Children are indeed a gift from the Lord (Psalm 127:3), and every covenant member is called to a be an adoptive parent, aunt, uncle, grandmother, or grandfather. We all belong to the Body of Christ and we each have a special gift to offer. So, encourage everyone to serve in Children’s Ministry—singles, empty-nesters, grandparents—from all different walks of life, because God can and will use all the members of the Body. Turns out, it does in fact take a village—or rather a loving, covenant church family.

Take time to pray for the parents and children in your ministry. God’s Word tells us in Philippians 4:6, “…do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

Don’t second guess yourself. Be confident in the Lord! You are never “less than.” God has called you to be in a specific place, at a specific time, for His specific purpose—all for His Glory! Fear not! The Lord is with you.