Hope for the Suffering-

All of us have experienced moments of stormy trials. These can be difficult, forcing us to consider where the anchor of our faith lies. Some experience moments of suffering, while others experience prolonged seasons of valley trudging. Our faith shaken, our prayers faint whispers of desperation for the Savior’s tender comfort and peace. The latter is the type of suffering journey I find most familiar and where I have seen joy, hope, and endurance grow immeasurably through the faithfulness of the Lord.

My husband and I have experienced pregnancy losses. We have each lost jobs, lost church family, dear friends, and grappled with new medical diagnoses. In the midst of these stormy days, we were blessed with two sons, joined a church body, and were picking up the pieces rather well. We felt that our days of being tossed to and fro by the storms of this life were lifting. Then, we were expecting again, and after a tumultuous pregnancy, our youngest son, Titus, and I were both struggling during his premature birth. Countless days, weeks, and months were spent in the hospital NICU, neurosurgery, heart surgery, spine surgery, eye surgery, all before our littlest guy was four years old.

When he was three years old, he got sick, very sick, with bacterial meningitis. After weeks of trying multiple failed medications, I met with palliative care. They were our next stop if the last-ditch meds didn’t help to slow the bacterial growth. I looked at my sleeping, dying child, dropped to my knees and cried out, “God! Heal him or take him home. You are good, but You need to work now. I can’t do this.” This was the most solid my faith had ever felt. I trusted the Lord wholly, even with my son’s life. Psalm 121 came to my mind: “Where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD!” Then Abraham and Isaac. Is this how Abraham felt climbing the mountain and building the altar? “Lord, you are good, but this is SO hard!” I imagine his prayer and his heart. Jehovah Jireh, the Lord will provide. Elohim, Creator God. I knew I could hope in the One who created all things, who provided for Abraham, and is sovereign over all creation now. Heidelberg Catechism question and answer 1: My only hope in life and death is that I am not my own, but belong – body and soul, in life and death – to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ. This was my only hope, being made real and tangible, anchoring me in the most tumultuous moments.

In His incredible mercy, Titus made a miraculous recovery. That season felt very isolating, lonely. Thirty emergency surgeries and a handful of planned ones for our little boy was so dissimilar to what other toddler and preschool parents were experiencing. We found solace in prayer and Scripture. Often separated—my being in the hospital, and my husband home with our older two sons—the Lord comforted us with His Word. Time after time, His Spirit was speaking hope, and even joy, into our family. He never left us, even though there were times that felt so dark we couldn’t see our own feet, let alone the path where we were supposed to be walking.

Those seasons of immense suffering eventually eased and gave way to normalcy. More trials have come and gone for our family, but the passages that I found deeply comforting during those hospital days with Titus were like a familiar balm to my weary soul. In all these seasons, there was an indescribable hope, a peace that passes all understanding. We should expect suffering as followers of Christ, but the way the believer suffers is different from the world. The suffering in the life of a Christian produces endurance, which produces character, which produces hope (Romans 5:4-5). The suffering Christian knows he is being made more into the likeness of his Savior through every stormy gale and deep valley traveled! Paul shares with us in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 that the grace of God is sufficient for us, and the power of Christ rests upon us in our weakness! We can suffer with hope because our Jesus is near, faithful to carry us through!

Some of my favorite passages during hard seasons: Romans 5:1-5, Psalm 30, Lamentations 3, Jeremiah 31, Matthew 11, Psalm 23