Grief and the Gift of Corporate Worship—

I grew up in a family that attended church services every Sunday, no exceptions. Although I will admit this habit wasn’t especially inspiring to me at a young age, my parents’ commitment to regular corporate worship built a similar habit in me. During and shortly after my college years, my parents were both diagnosed with serious illnesses: mom with ALS, and dad with cancer. In the years following, my husband and I lived with my parents while we started our own family. We were a multi-generational household for about ten years, and we were deeply involved in the care and support for my parents. Looking back, I remember those years as full of love and chaos, sorrow and beauty—living sacrifice. Throughout those years, we were served faithfully by the caring ministry of our church. My parents were limited in their mobility, but they faithfully attended church in person or, when unable to leave the house, watched online.

By committing to attend a worship service each week, we can take one step towards creating order in even the most chaotic of seasons. I remember well that feeling of “just trying to make it” to the weekend with a house full of small children and the pressing needs of mom’s healthcare. It was so tempting each week to send the kids with their dad to church and hang back for some peace and quiet in the house. Occasionally, I would listen to a sermon audio on my headphones while folding the laundry in solitude. Truthfully, in the moment, it was fantastic. When they got home from church, I could have all the lunches made and ready. I would have actually carefully listened to a whole sermon without interruption! I had bought myself a little margin of time and peace, but I had paid for it by sacrificing my physical presence in worship and community.

There will always be days when staying home with a sick child is necessary (I’m not advocating for spreading illness all over the church nursery.), but what I learned is that when I summoned the will to get myself into the pew, God met me there with more peace and calm in my mind and spirit than I could ever have found at home alone.

The rhythm and liturgy of a worship service can act as a template for each day of the week: a time of prayer, a time of song, a time of fellowship,a time of listening and learning, and a time for meals. I tried each week to relax into what God had for us. With all that was going on in our house, I learned that trying to control my week and protect my alone time would only lead to frustration and anger. By sitting in the service on Sunday, I had a weekly reminder that God has my week’s activities in His powerful hands. I don’t need to fight for control, or even for my own time of rest. God provided what I needed to get through each day.

There is something beautiful that happens when we walk into a worship service, and I can’t really explain how it works to be honest. I can walk in exhausted and grumpy. I can be sorrowful and foggy with grief. On some Sundays, getting the kids dressed and fed, loaded in the car, and settled in a pew only add to that fatigue.And as an introvert, I can predict that sitting in a big room of people would be the “last straw” of my patience.

But what I have found is that when I simply show up with a heart to worship and receive, God meets me there. Some of the needs and the wants at the forefront of my mind will be met, but more importantly, I am present to offer God the praise He deserves and to receive whatever God has for me in the body of Christ that morning. Our Heavenly Father sees our needs better than we do, so He can meet them in a way that’s far beyond what we are able to muster or devise for ourselves. Somehow, God sends me out the door with more than I walk in with.

Over time, my posture towards weekly worship has changed. I am thankful for the Holy Spirit’s steady call to my heart to engage with weekly worship. What a beautiful invitation we have been offered. What a beautiful opportunity we have!