Beyond Drop Off: Building Meaningful Partnerships with Parents to Disciple Our Children –

The first day of school is one of the coolest days of the year.

Yes, I said it.

In my area, there are some schools that start mid-July and some that start mid-August. And some start somewhere in between.

Needless to say, my socials—for a month—have a bevy of first-day-of-school posts. Some of my favorites are of the parents who send their kids to “big school” for the first time. For many of them, it is the first time they realize that something is happening with their little babies.

They’re growing. They’re developing, and they are becoming more independent.

That picture of dropping kids off at school is indicative of what parents will think about dropping off their kids with us during our church programming.

Often, the thought is that whatever is happening at school is self-contained—it’s school stuff. The extent that parents need to be involved is homework.

But church can’t operate that way.

One of the clearest pictures Scripture gives us of spiritual formation happens in the context of the home:

“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children…” — Deuteronomy 6:6-7

The responsibility of forming children spiritually was never intended to rest solely on the gathered community. Parents and guardians have a unique and God-given role in discipling the children entrusted to them by their natural relationship. So, part of the covenant connections we in children’s ministry want to make in our classrooms and playgrounds is to build new relationships with kids. We have to decide to spend time with kids on purpose.

But we also have to decide to spend time with their parents on purpose.

A children’s ministry that doesn’t involve parents will ultimately become a frustration.

Here’s why: Our programs last an hour or so. Kids go to school 7-8 hours a day and are with their parents or guardians for the remaining hours. If that one-hour-per-week is to have an impact on the lives of the children, we must include the parents and guardians who will spend more time with their children than we do.

Our job isn’t to replace parents. Our job is to equip them.

We want to walk with them as they live our Paul’s words:

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”— Ephesians 6:4

We are in the business of equipping the saints—children and parents. Paul tells us that the church is given leaders and ministers “to equip the saints for the work of ministry” (Ephesians 4:11-12). Therefore, a bigger vision of children’s ministry involves kids and their parents.

The kingdom work that happens on Sundays and Wednesdays is only a supplement—a little extra fodder—for what we ultimately want parents to foster in the hearts and minds of children throughout the week.

Psalm 78 gives us another picture of this kind of generational faithfulness:

“We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.” — Psalm 78:4

That’s the vision.

We want to create environments where kids encounter Jesus, build meaningful relationships, learn Scripture, ask questions, worship, serve, and experience the love of God’s people.

But we also want to send parents and guardians home equipped and encouraged to continue the conversation because the goal isn’t simply for a child has a great hour at church.

The goal is that what happens in that hour becomes part of a much bigger story—a story that continues at the dinner table, in the car, at bedtime, during homework, in the hard conversations, and in the ordinary moments of everyday life.

The first day of school reminds us that our kids are growing up.

Children’s ministry should remind us that we have the opportunity—and responsibility—to help families grow up together in Christ.