Fear Not Suffering—

Oh, the bliss of being engaged to be married. As a young Christian, I remember being surrounded by godly women who were already parents to a couple of children. They loved Jesus and their spouses and would jokingly but seriously say, “Marriage will really sanctify you. You will see your need for Jesus and your own sin even more after you get married. But when you have children, it’s even more amplified!!” It’s the truth. I’ve been married for sixteen years now with five children of our own, and God has used marriage, parenting, and suffering to show me my sin, my need of Him, and to make me a little more like Jesus. But there’s still much more work to do!

Affliction came quickly after our first month of marriage when my husband began experiencing unusual symptoms of fatigue and pain. A few weeks later, we found out we had a honeymoon baby on the way—we were truly elated! Then, three days after our first son was born, a doctor explained that my husband had a very rare bone marrow disorder that would likely require a bone marrow transplant. After several hospital stays, two trips across the US for another opinion, and my second pregnancy, my husband survived a successful bone marrow transplant. Then, almost a year to the day of my husband’s transplant, our first born had a brain bleed, suffered a stroke, underwent two brain surgeries, and was hospitalized for over two weeks. Affliction came early in our marriage, and it came swift and heavy like a gauntlet. God was incredibly near during each passing day of our trials. We sought Him, others prayed faithfully and fervently on our behalf, and the Lord never left our side. But those first two-and-a-half years of marriage and parenting were hard, and we were in constant survival mode.

When suffering comes, one really can’t escape it. It’s that person’s reality for that season. But fear can set in because circumstances are unknown, the near and distant future can seem clouded, and sometimes the statistics are just not in the person’s favor. Maybe sickness has struck a family member; maybe f the family is truly drowning financially; maybe a family member has died. All of these scenarios are unchanging realities. And I’m learning that the consequences of sin are two- no, three-fold. As Paul says in Romans 8, creation groans in eager expectation due to the consequence of sin: death and decay.

A new and dear friend in Christ is walking trials I have never experienced before, long-suffering that isn’t quickly or easily hurdled. She opened my eyes to a third result of trials and sickness. Remember Job? God allowed Satan to inflict Job with sickness and loss innumerable. Spiritual warfare in the suffering? Biblically, this is correct. This third effect of sin certainly encompasses the other two.

Suffering is an effect of being wholly human, and in its fullness, we must expect it. We are human, and God allows affliction to, in the end, make us more like Jesus. James 5:11 says, “Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.”

Thus, we can absolutely rest assured that God means all of our days—including walking uncharted, painful, and scary roads—to prepare us for the culmination of our salvation.  Peter’s words encourage us in 1 Peter 1:6-7: “In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

All of the unknown wrapped up in trials and suffering can cause our weary hearts to be completely overcome with fear. As parents, the plans we had in our minds for our child’s future can be seemingly destroyed because of illness, injury, and even loss. So, what can we do with our fear when the inevitable trials come? Oh, we can grieve and have hope all at the same time as we go to the foot of the cross. In 2 Corinthians 1:3-5, Paul exclaims, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.”

When troubles come, run to the Word of God. When suffering visits your children, get on your knees in prayer. When affliction rears its head, allow others to comfort and serve you and your family—it is their joy in Christ to aid you in your time of need. There are Sovereign Grace Music songs that have carried me through many painful, tearful days; and when they pop up on my Sandra McCracken Pandora station (fifteen years after the beginning of our trials), I rejoice and sometimes cry again at the truth of hope in Christ woven throughout those beautiful musical notes. Find a music station with gospel-centered artists. The way the Lord uses music to tend to our souls is wonderful.

Even today, with my family’s hardships appearing smaller compared to our first years of marriage, I have to remind myself to not be surprised by affliction. Don’t let the hardships of this life surprise you. Just as sure as we are human, we can be completely confident that when, not if, we experience trials, suffering, loss, and hurt, God uses it for our sanctification and good. First Peter 4:12-13 says, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.”

Oh, may we see all the steps and paths of this life as preparation for eternity with Christ. It is so difficult in the middle of suffering to do this, but this perspective helps me persevere knowing that there truly is purpose in the hardships. Chapter Three of the Westminster Confession of Faith reads, “God from all eternity did, by the most wise and holy counsel of His own will, freely, and unchangeably ordain whatsoever comes to pass.” God’s sovereignty in every single aspect of our lives is a true and very present comfort.

As believers in Christ, we have hope—no matter life’s circumstances—because of Christ’s victory at the cross. Trials are coming, and affliction will visit. So, in the middle of all the hard, all the unknown, all the fear, “Seek the Lord while He may be found; call upon Him while He is near” (Isaiah 55:6).