Making Sundays Welcoming—

My mother has served in children’s ministry for most of her life, leading programs at three different churches in the DC area: one as the volunteer Sunday School Superintendent, and two others as the full-time director of children’s ministry. I asked her to share some thoughts on making Sundays welcoming for visitors from a wide variety of backgrounds, particularly from unchurched or lightly-churched backgrounds.

Can you give us a brief picture of the basics of Sunday morning children’s programs at the churches you served?

The three churches all offered two or three morning services with children’s programming available during all but the very earliest service. One church had a specific Sunday School hour for all ages between the two services and a release from the worship service for children third grade and under. The others didn’t have a separate Sunday School hour but offered a different program for children through third grade during each worship service, so families could attend worship together during one hour and all go to Sunday School the other hour. Folks who attended two programs on Sunday morning became increasingly less common from 1995 to 2007. (I tracked the children’s attendance!)

Why does it matter that Sunday morning be welcoming to children and families from a wide variety of backgrounds?

Getting children “churched” is a common desire for many semi-churched families from culturally Christian backgrounds. It first becomes an interest if they want a baby baptized. Another entry time is when children start asking spiritual questions that parents would like someone else to answer. Or a parent remembers enjoying Sunday School as a child and wants his own child to have that “experience.” It’s an “activity.”

Dropping off a child on Sunday morning is the most naturally interactive thing that a visitor does. I consider the Children’s Department the main center for welcoming new families. Particularly in larger churches, when a family visits, the children’s teacher is the main person with whom they make personal contact. Other folks may greet warmly, but parents usually have to interact with someone to drop off a child. (This is where I see fully automated check-in systems as actually being less inviting. You may have a claim check and plenty of assurance that the child is safe, but you lose some of the personal connection.)

What are some things you specifically amplified or changed about existing programs to make them more welcoming?

At one church, we decided to have the K–3^rd grade children attend the worship service for a portion of it and then be dismissed for Children’s Church at one service. This worked very well for children who regularly attended and were comfortable at the church. Those in the service who didn’t regularly interact with the children enjoyed seeing them and the “parade” as they exited.

I observed after a couple of years that this process was actually quite intimidating to visiting children, especially if they were not accustomed to attending Sunday School or worship. It was also uncomfortable for visiting parents who didn’t know where the child was going or with whom they would be. I was also concerned that we could simply lose a child in the transition. We stopped doing that and had children all go directly to their classes and then go together to Children’s Church, returning with the same leaders for pickup.

At that church, we set up a children’s welcome desk to specifically care for visitors. Visiting families checked in at the desk where there were at least two workers. After taking basic information and issuing security tags, one volunteer would leave the desk and escort the family to the appropriate classroom to introduce the child and parents to the teacher. Then the parents would pick up the child in that room from that teacher. This way the parents saw to whom they were entrusting the child and where and with whom they would find the child at the end of the service. They had also made a more personal connection with someone at the church – the teacher.

I felt that it was also important that when a family returned, they would be greeted by the same teacher.  For that reason and others (a whole other conversation!), I asked that teachers plan to be there every Sunday for a school year rather than serve on a rotating basis. It didn’t mean someone couldn’t miss. It just increased the odds that a child would have the security of the same teacher in a repeat visit. A child returned to see a familiar face in Sunday School, and it also gave the family a more solid connection to a particular person in the church.

How much of this was things YOU did vs. training/encouraging teachers and other volunteers?

A lot of it was in the setup and structure of the overall system. However, I always emphasized to teachers that what kids remember most about Sunday School is not what they learned but who taught them. The teacher’s warmth and consistency are the most attractive thing about a program, particularly for someone who is not otherwise well connected to the congregation. Teachers were encouraged to pray systematically for the children in their class including any visitors. And of course, they could greet a child and parent genuinely when he/she returned.

The “Shepherds” at the Welcome Desk were very aware that their role was to welcome and care for “new people.”  They had an opportunity to get to know the whole family and greet them warmly on a return visit. They also served weekly for the length of the school year, so they were there when folks returned. (Once visitors were settled, the Shepherds took attendance, fetched needed supplies, helped with snacks, and dealt with special needs. The teachers knew they always had backup.) It was also important that the ushers and greeters upstairs (in this case) knew to direct visitors to the Children’s Welcome Desk—ideally, to escort them there.

What about making Sundays welcoming do you think is the same or different for smaller churches vs. larger ones?

I haven’t actually served in a smaller church, but I think in many ways it is probably more intimidating to visit a smaller than a larger church. Larger churches by nature have to be set up with clear signs and processes about where to go and what to do. The challenge is to make it personal. In a smaller church, the challenge might be to not make it too personal! Where a formal welcome desk and other “big church” trappings might seem over the top, you still need to accomplish the same goals of making people feel welcomed and cared for. It might look like making sure a particular person is assigned each week to watch out for and care for visitors, show them the classrooms, and introduce them to the teachers. Even in a small church, you don’t want to just send people places or assume they will just follow the crowd and find their way to the right place.

A smaller church might be better able to manage the format of having children leave during the worship service, but it is still important to be aware of how that feels for unfamiliar children and parents. You could have a greeter walk the family through the whole process ahead of time, so they can see where the children are going and who they will be with or even structure things so that parents can clearly and comfortably go out with children and then return to the service.

Also, regardless of the size of the church, it is nice to have something to show parents when they pick up. It doesn’t have to be complicated, just something that indicates there was content during the time: a craft, coloring picture, or story paper. But the most important thing is that the child felt included and wants to return.